GRAHAM TOLD ME PERSONALLY MOST MANUSCRIPTS THROWN OUT UNSEEN

[alan]

The Daily Iowan did a story last year on Foetry and then Iowa was back to business as usual.  Jimmy, surely you remember Winston Barclay?  They are going to keep doing what they're doing until there's a lawsuit.  I have an email from Holly Carver at the U of Iowa Press to someone where she says she's going to make a presentation to the AAUPresses justifying why it's ok to cheat.  

OK.  Maybe it wasn't those exact words, but you know what I mean.  She was going to make her case.

And I have good gossip on Carver's personal life too, which I'll make use of if necessary.

[jimmy]

Was Winston the publicist who kept coming here and saying I'M HERE TO LISTEN?  I loved that guy.

So Deep Throat shouldn't have made more of an attempt to warn consumers that their manuscripts (and old lady money) were being wasted? We don't need to hear from anyone else to also go on the record? (And who maybe can put sentences together into paragraphs?) Is Holly Carver cute?

xxxjimmy

[Monday Love]

Jimmy,

You went to Suffolk, and despite all the odds against you, you successfully sucked up to Iowa grads!  So of course you are going to resent Iowa people like David who don’t suck up like you do!  You worked hard, no one gave you any breaks, and people like Jorie Graham were actually nice to you—and you were in heaven!   Through guile and ambition, Jim Behrle, Suffolk nobody, got Jorie Graham and her students to like him!! But now someone’s kicking Jim Behrle’s dream: All that work to get Jorie Graham to like you, even though you went to Suffolk!  And now it’s all coming apart.  Poor Jimmy!  
Don’t cry for me, Jimitina.  

Jimmy, you’re like Oswald from  “Lear.”  A boot-licking thug for the bad guys!  You really think one Iowa student is going to complain and make headlines?  Why do you think Foetry.com is here, Jimmy?  It takes more than isolated complaints.  You know that.   And again, I grant you all the skepticism is the world, and you are entitled to that.  You don’t want to let go of the dream that the ‘good’ people you sucked up to have become a laughing-stock.  I understand.  

Maggie Gyllenhall??  She’s hideous!  The Gyllenhalls have no lips!  You really do lack taste!  You’re just looking for autographs from the rich and famous, aren’t you?     You had a date with a woman better looking than Maggie G!!  Open your eyes, Jimmy B!!

Monday

[jimmy]

Name one Iowa grad I've sucked up to!

xxxjimmy

[jimmy]

And show me exactly where I "sucked up to them."

You owe me two Kalibers, now.

If you can show me one time I've "sucked up to" anybody I'd be astounded.

Let's go--you're on the clock.

xxxjimmy

[poetastin]

Hey man, Monday's not your teacher!

[jimmy]

[jimmy]

Monday's accused me of sucking up. I'd like an example. Or is this *another* unsupportable claim on these boards? Can't it be *backed* up?

xxxjimmy

PS: I have enough lips for both of us in whatever couple I'm in

[poetastin]

Deep Throat to Monday: start with the crush lists!

Also: have you not seen Secretary? The Maggs is spanktastic.

[jimmy]

That's not sucking up: that's an established literary form.

Established by me.

xxxjimmy

[Vermeer]

...everyone confused about? They threw away all the manuscripts at Georgia!!!!!!! THEY THREW AWAY ALL THE MANUSCRIPTS AT THE UNIVERSIY OF GEORGIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jorie picked her husband. Bin Ramke writes to director: "I'm not even finished reading all the manuscripts but I'm picking Peter Sacks (see attached Jorie Graham love letter to Peter Sacks and his poetry)!!!!! WHY IS ANYONE CONFUSED OR IN DOUBT ABOUT THIS? ALAN HAS THE LETTTER!!!!!!!! HE HAS JORIE'S REC FOR SACKS!!!!! SACKS WAS PICKED AS "WINNER"!!!!!!!!

[jimmy]

They threw away all the manuscripts at Georgia? Alan, can we roll that videotape? Vermeer, calm down, baby.  The all-caps thing is my schtick, it's only funny when I do it...

xxxjimmy

[Vermeer]

Jimmie, you're only funny when you doyour cartoons,which I love. And your hot lists.

Is rumor true that you put yourself on one of your own hot lists?

[jimmy]

No, but I do have the word ME tattooed to my pubic bone.

xxxjimmy

[Monday Love]

Name one Iowa grad I've sucked up to!

xxxjimmy

Jimmy dearest,

Read your own posts: "can you prove that Jorie threw out those manuscripts? etc"  You are so obviously playing defense attorney for her.  You are revelling in knowing these people.  And what about Josh Clover, Iowa student picked by Jorie, weren't you going on about how 'hot' he is, trying to divert with your junior high 'crush' talk.   You defend and name-drop like a self-appointed star defense attorney in a manner supercilious, sychophantic and...sticky.   You don't suck up?  You are saying you don't suck up?  When don't you suck up?  

You see, Jim, this board is not about "I'm friends with these people and they're really cool, so leave them alone!"  You think the fact that you are friends with these foets somehow excuses them because you are such a cool, interesting person.  But you are only interesting in the context of Foetry.  Otherwise, we would tell you to get lost.   The sucking up is so very apparent.  I can't believe you don't see it.  

Now, I'm sure Jorie and her friends are saying, "Why doesn't Jimmy just shut up, he's making it worse for us.  Stop giving them fuel, Jimmy.  Shut up!  We want Foetry.com to dry up and go away!  Oh please let it go away."  But you can't help yourself, Jimmy, because deep in your heart you know this place is where it's at.   You have a secret crush on Mallie.  I know you do.   Confess!  And David Callan is a close second.  I'm talking a real crush, so real it would never make any public crush list.

As I took my 3 year old daughter home from school yesterday evening, walking through harvard yard, she was yelling, "I AM A PRINCESS!" at the top of her lungs.   This, I imagine, is the mental place Jimmy and the Foets dwell.  That might make a good band name.  Jimmy and the Foets.  And the college girls go, "Doo doo doo doo doo"  Janet and Jorie as back up singers.  Put that in your musical.   That number can come right after "I've Got A Crush On You"  and "I Don't Care That You're Bad Because You're Beautiful."

Monday